Currently, I'm in this strange limbo period of my life. Recently, I started to think about what was next. Where would Markus and I be this time time next year? We decided not to renew for a third year in Korea. It's been an amazing experience living and working here, but it was never meant to be permanent. It was a hard decision to make, but it just didn't feel right staying here for another year. So with that decision made, Markus and I are embarking on another adventure in 2013.
It would be easy to continue teaching in Korea, but where's the fun in that? For me, two years is perfect. One year would've been too short. I would've felt like it was just a small taste of living in another country. With the extra year, I've felt like a real ex-pat. Not just someone pretending to be one, if that makes sense. Life in Korea is really easy. Being an ESL teacher has been a big challenge, but it's not hard to assimilate. There are difficult days, but they are few and far between.
In fact, thinking about life after Korea is much more scary than thinking about moving to Korea. When we were preparing to move here, most things were taken care of. We had a job, a home, and health insurance. I definitely felt safe and secure. Thinking about going home freaks me out. Markus and I have no jobs, no home and definitely no health insurance. Luckily, we are free to go anywhere. We aren't obligated to return to Florida. We can literally move to any of the 50 states. It's liberating and terrifying at the same time. All of these random scenarios have started running through my mind: Like what happens if we move somewhere and I hate it? What if we can't find jobs? What if we don't make any friends? Anything could happen!
I hate making bad decisions, and I really hate when things don't go according to plan. I'm the type of person that likes everything figured out. When Markus and I go on trips, I create these ridiculously detailed itineraries with almost every minute planned. It's just the way I am. I like to have a plan. The thought of starting this new phase of my life and not having a plan started freaking me out. It wasn't just the lack of a plan, but also the thought of really settling down that freaks me out. Things like buying a home, having a mortgage and having a baby are such foreign concepts to me now. Thoughts like these started to weigh down on me, but then I realized something. Just because we're not living in a foreign country or traveling to an exotic place doesn't mean that life isn't an adventure anymore. Adventure is all about the unknown, and that's what awaits Markus and I at the end of our contract.
We have a completely clean slate, just like when we moved here. Our future is open to what we make it out to be. We can literally do anything. We can live out all and any dream that we have. We can go anywhere. There is nothing holding us back and I'm looking forward to this next phase of our life.